HAPPY HALLOWEEN
Have a frightfully good day
filled with tricks and treats
spooks and smiles.

Boo

Ghosts favorite fruit are B00-berries!

Have a spook-tacular
Halloween

Happy Ghosts

AN ELEVATOR MAKES GHOSTS HAPPY
BECAUSE IT LIFTS THEIR SPIRITS

Pumpkin Patch

Octoberpus & Clam

FULL MOON

WITCYPOO

Boobs & Buns

Cheeseburger In Paradise

Get In My Belly!

Argh Matey

Yo Ho Ho and a bag of treats for you tricksters.

On The Ropes

To learn rope tricks you have to be taut.

Hectic Halloween

Last year my daughter and her children were invited to a Halloween party. Her older son wanted to go as Count Dracula; her daughter, as a ballerina; her younger son, as the cabin boy in Treasure Island. Then my daughter donned her own costume, wrapping herself in strips of white sheeting. At the party she collapsed, exhausted, on the sofa. "And who are you?" someone asked her. "I'm a tired mummy," my daughter said.

What Color Is Your Mood

Are you feeling "blue" or in the "pink"? Or perhaps you are looking at life through "rose-colored" glasses, or are even seeing "red"? Color is something we may not consciously think about, but it's all around us, and can have a definite effect on our moods and emotions. Just those phrases I mentioned at the beginning are proof of that. We can be reacting to color without even realizing it.
For example, think about how you feel out in nature in springtime, with the green of the grass and leaves of the trees. In contrast, how do you feel on a gray, overcast day? And that's why I'd like to suggest that you take advantage of the power of colors and make them work for you. You can use color to help you achieve your goals, whether it's to relax, concentrate, energize, or create an upbeat mood.
Here's a short list to help you recognize the emotions and colors associated with them.
Red – passion, activity, excitement; stimulates a faster heartbeat and breathing, energy (but too much can be aggressive or confrontational)
Pink – romantic, peaceful, tenderness, harmony
Orange – confidence, cheerfulness, friendliness
Yellow – aids concentration and memory (which is why the original post-it notes were yellow!), optimism, sociability
Blue – tranquility, contentment, trust; or in cooler shades, depressing or passive
Green – growth, hope, health, renewal
Purple – imagination, creativity, inspiration
So, the next time you need a pick-me-up of some kind, become aware of the colors around you. Adding a color to your surroundings or clothing could be just the trick!

The Mens Room

How would you like these women watching you do your business?

Word Of The Day

INFATUATED - strongly or foolishly attached to; inspired with foolish passion; overly in love, enamored, smitten.

MASKED BALL

Halloween is a week away.
Are you going to be dressing up in costume this year? If so, what is your costume theme? I haven't thought up anything yet. We are supposed to dress up at work, but I'll probably just wear some orange and black and some Halloween jewelry and call it good.

HAPPY
BIRTHDAY
MOM

WISH I COULD BE THERE TO CELEBRATE WITH YOU
I LOVE YOU ! CAREFUL BLOWING OUT ALL 68 CANDLES.

Woodpecker

It's hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but, here is one: Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither a>son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."Wipe that smile off your face!"

Pun - Time

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

Wrap It Up

I've never been much of a gift wrapper, but I didn't realize how bad my presents looked until the day I went to my new boss's home for a small surprise party. I had purchased an oddly shaped gift that had been difficult to wrap, but I was pleased with the results. My boss seemed pleased too. He picked up my gift, smiled widely at his three-year-old son and said, "I think I know who this is from!"

The Good Fight

The important thing in the Olympic Games is not winning but taking part. The essential thing in life is not conquering but fighting well.- -- Baron de Coubertin, The Olympic Creed

Rosie The Riveter

Unreal Influences

- They influence everything from how we look and act to eat and speak and have even helped sway the course of history -- but they are not real.

And topping a list of "The 101 most influential people who never lived" in a book released Tuesday is the Marlboro Man -- a macho American cowboy who emerged in the 1950s and helped boost sales of Marlboro cigarettes.
Coming in at number two on the list is Big Brother of George Orwell's 1984, followed by King Arthur, who the authors say embodies for many the ideal monarch, and Santa Claus comes in at number four.
"Santa Claus governs our entire economy for the last quarter of the year and without him businesses would go broke," said co-author Allan Lazar.
Barbie "the bodacious plastic babe who became a role model for millions of little girls, setting an impossible standard for beauty and style" makes the list at number 43.
But Rosie the Riveter, the buff, blue-collar factory worker who the authors say helped jump-start the women's liberation movement comes in at 28.
"The idea came to us that influential characters didn't have to exist, that fictional characters were just as important in our lives, even in maybe some cases more so than real people," Lazar said.
Even the Loch Ness Monster makes the list at number 56.
"As the most popular tourist attraction in Scotland, Nessie's influence on the cash flow of that country has been significant," wrote the authors of "The 101 most influential people who never lived."
At 101 was Paul Bunyan, a mythical lumberjack who the authors say was created by U.S. lumberjacks during the 1800s "to bring some good cheer, and esteem into their lives of drudgery."

Asleep At The Wheel

Avoid Drowsy Driving
Falling asleep while driving can be fatal.
So, the department of health sciences at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah, studied which techniques really helped prevent accidents. As reported in the Journal of American College Health, they found stopping for a snack, talking to your passengers and rolling the window down were factors in preventing accidents.
But, more surprising, here's what won't help you stay alert:
taking a walk
drinking something with caffeine in it
stopping for a nap
chewing ice



Guess I was wrong, I thought stopping for a nap was the obvious choice. hmm

Don't Worry Be Happy

When was the last time somebody said to you, "Don't worry about it"? Worry is one of those things all of us do at some point, to a greater or lesser extent. I was thinking about this because of a conversation I had with a friend, who was worried about the fact that her mother was worried about something! Most people have enough stress in their lives without adding worrying into the mix.
But I know it's hard to stop worrying. It is actually a habit we get into. And it's ironic that most of the things we tend to worry about either happened in the past, over which we have no control, or haven't even happened yet, or are just possibilities. The author-physician A. J. Cronin once sat down and analyzed the worries of his patients. This is what he found:
Things that never happen 40% Things in the past that can't be changed by worry 30% Health worries 12% Miscellaneous, petty worries 10% Real, legitimate worries 8%
Now, there's nothing wrong with feeling concern over a problem or situation, and then taking steps to deal with it. But worrying actually paralyzes us, and often there is no action to take, because what we're worrying about in fact hasn't happened. And when worrying gets out of hand, it can lead to other troubles such as "burnout" and other stress-related illnesses.

Rainbow

Economy

Economy... the art of making the most of life; the love of economy is the root of all virtue.- -- George Bernard Shaw

Every Woman Should...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...One friend who always makes her laugh...And one who lets her cry... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...A feeling of control over her destiny...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...How to fall in love without losing herself...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...How to quit a job, Break up with a lover and Confront a friend without ruining the friendship...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...When to try harder... and when to walk away...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...That she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...That her childhood may not have been perfect but...Its over...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...What she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...How to live alone...even if she doesn't like it...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...Whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...Where to go...be it to her best friend's kitchen table...or a charming inn in the woods...when her soul needs soothing.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...What she can and can't accomplish in a day...a month...and a year...

Word Of The Day

JUXTAPOSITION - side-by-side placement, contiguity, proximity.

Fill Out This Form Please, It Won't Take A Minute

In the admitting office of our hospital, some patients were filling out forms, others were being interviewed and still others were being escorted to their rooms. An elderly woman hesitantly entered my cubicle. She had completed her admitting forms and, upon my request, handed me her insurance cards. I typed the necessary information and then asked her the reason for her coming to the hospital. "Just to visit a friend," she said, "but this has taken so long, I'm not sure I have time now."

Local News Flash

Three high school girls and their parents were found dead Saturday morning at their home in eastern Iowa, and the couple's son was arrested in Illinois and considered a suspect, officials said.
The victims were found shot at about 4 a.m. near Bonaparte, according to the Van Buren County sheriff's office. It was not immediately clear what prompted the slayings.
Shawn Bentler, 22, was arrested Saturday in Quincy, Ill., on an unrelated charge of possession of drug paraphernalia, the Van Buren County sheriff's office said. The Iowa Department of Public Safety said he is a suspect in the slayings.
Quincy is about 57 miles southeast of the family's home.
Parents Michael Bentler, 53, and Sandra Bentler, 47, were found dead with their daughters Sheena Bentler, 17, Shelby Bentler, 15, and Shayne Bentler, 14, Van Buren County authorities said.
The Harmony school district confirmed three of its female high school students - a freshman, sophomore and senior - and their parents were killed.
The slayings shocked residents of this eastern Iowa town, located about 145 miles southeast of Des Moines.
"The whole town knew the family," resident Marilyn Thomas said. "This is only a town of 465 people."

This is a really bizarre story. Bonaparte is about 40 miles from me. One of my first jobs was an assistant manager at a convienience store and my boss was Larry Bentler. He was from Houghton, only a few miles away from Bonaparte. I know he had a couple of brothers, so I wonder if Michael was his older brother.
Even odder is the fact that the Villages of Van Buren are having their annual Fall Festival this weekend. I had planned on going tomorrow to take in the arts and crafts, music and nature. I'm sure all the villages will be abuzz with this news. It's a very sad thing.

Word Of The Day

PLEBEIAN - of a low social class, common, proletarian.

Ruff Baseball

A dog that played baseball always got walked.

Fridays and 13

"The rise of the compound Three-Ten for Thirteen is so very general all over the world, that it seems clear that to the primitive mind of early Man it had no real meaning--he stopped at Twelve. So persistent are these old instincts that, even today, we stop at "Twelve Times Twelve "in our school multiplication triplication tables, though there is absolutely no reason whatever why we should do so, except for our inherited instinct that it was, and therefore still must be, the utmost limit of mathematical thought.
Thirteen, therefore was not used as number, but as a vague word meaning anything beyond Twelve. To the untutored savage, as to the animal mind of today, anything unknown conveyed an immediate sense of danger. Thirteen was not really an unlucky number, but a fateful one--a number full of vague and unimaginable possibilities and therefore a number to be avoided by any peace-loving man.
This curious point is amply proved by the many superstitions that cluster round this number, for they are all based upon the number itself. In the majority of hotels, for instance, there is no room bearing this number, and the visitor who sleeps in the thirteenth room slumbers quite peacefully because it bears the number 14 on the door. The ill-luck, you see, is not attached to the room, but to the number, which carried to the savage mind such dreaded fear of the Unknown. Possibly that may have been a million years ago, but the fateful character still clings to the number.
Many people believe that the superstition about sitting thirteen at table dates from the Last Supper and the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. That is not possible, for the idea goes back centuries earlier: but it does seem clear that this world fatality gave the idea new life and sent it bounding forward along the years to come. As a matter of fact, this was not an isolated case of at thirteen at table, for Christ and the chosen disciples worked together regularly every day, and must, surely, have risked the fateful thirteen many thousands of times.
In Scotland, Thirteen is known as the "Devil's Dozen"--a title characteristic of the worst associations of this much abused number. I have already made reference to the question of Thirteen sitting at table together. But the Romans considered that the fatality followed the number whenever and for whatever purpose thirteen people gathered together.
The Fish was an emblem of Freyja, and as such was associated with the worship of Love. It was offered by the Scandinavians to their goddess, on the sixth day of the week, i.e., Friday. I have already pointed out that many primitive customs were "adopted" by the early Christians, in order to make life easier for their converts--this was a case in point. Fish has been accepted by Catholics as the correct diet on their sixth day fast.Unfortunately this worship of Love on the Friday of each week gradually developed--or degenerated--into a series of filthy and indecent rites and practices.
Here then we have the obvious clue to the Day's bad name--no decent man would be associated with such practices! Friday started its career as a good day, almost a sacred day--and in many countries it is still the day of all days for lovers. Then love degenerated into lust, and now the day is universally shunned!
This trick of attributing to poor old Friday all the disasters that have ever befallen Mankind is a very general one--in addition to Eve's "indiscretion," as I may call it, Friday is popularly, but not historically, supposed to have seen the murder of Abel, the stoning of Stephen, the Crucifixion, the Massacre of the Innocents by Herod, the flight of the children of Israel through the Red Sea, the Deluge (of course !), the Confusion of Tongues at the Tower of Babel and many others, right up to William Tell and the other Apple!

Men

For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here ' s an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it ' s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

1. Men are like ...Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like.Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ......Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like ......Blenders You need One, but you ' re not quite sure why.
5. Men are like .....Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ...Commercials ....... You can ' t believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ......Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .....Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like .Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms .... You never know when they 're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ........Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots ......... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Tar-Tar

Some people like raw meat on rare occasions.

Word Of The Day

DIFFIDENT - lacking self-confidence, modest, timid.

Courage

Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to the end, requires some of the same courage which a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes brave men to win them.- -- Emerson

Sod farms provide instant grassification.

Autumn

Autumn by Emily Dickinson

The morns are meker than they were,
The nuts are getting brown;
The berry's cheek is plumper,
The rose is out of town.

The maple wears a gayer scarf,
The field a scarlet gown,
Lest I be old-fashioned,
I'll put a trinket on.

Accidental Death Probability

Chances Are....
Accidental death would seem to be just that, but there are extra risks if you're in some particular groups.
For women, according to the journal Annals of Epidemiology, middle children had a higher risk of accidental death than did first-borns.
For men, the risk of accidental death is greater among those who were breast fed than those who were bottle fed, the American Journal of Public Health reports.

*Drats..I'm a middle child and my poor son was breast fed. Who knew......

Rah Rah

An arrogant cheerleader has pompomposity.

Tick Tock

Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that's the stuff life is made of.- -- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

I went for a walk in our local park yesterday and admired the leaves turning color. It was a perfect, sunny day to wander at my leisure and snap a few photos. I picked up acorns, crab apples, seed pods and some leaves to make a centerpiece for my dining table. It added a nice Fall touch to the table. Autumn is my favorite season by far.

Fun Pun

The first household lubricant was caster oil.

Word Of The Day

ORNERY - disagreeable in dispostion, stubborn.

Geriatric Condoms

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Maude: What in the hell is that?
Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Maude: Where did you get it?
Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.
"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."

Food For Thought

When cannibals ate a missionary they got a taste of religion.

Word Of The Day

CADRE - a core group of tained workers around which an expanded organization can be built.

FUN PUN

Once ice cream was invented, the problem was licked.

Farewell Funeral Songs

Research for the Bereavement Register found just over a half (51 percent) of people ask for a specific song be played at their funeral and 79 percent have talked with family and friends about possible song choices. "Everyone has a favorite song that means something very special to them, often connected to a particular time and place. When the song is played this can be a very emotive reminder of that person," he said in a statement.


Others in the top 20 included "Knocking On Heaven's Door" by Bob Dylan and, perhaps unexpectedly, Fame's "I Want To Live Forever." The top 10 requested songs were:
1 - "Goodbye My Lover" - James Blunt 2 - "Angels" - Robbie Williams 3 - "I've Had The Time Of My Life" - Jennifer Warnes and Bill Medley.
4 - "Wind Beneath My Wings" - Bette Midler 5 - "Pie Jesu" - Requiem 6 - "Candle In The Wind" - Elton John 7 - "With Or Without You" - U2 8 - "Tears In Heaven" - Eric Clapton 9 - "Every Breath You Take - The Police 10 -"Unchained Melody" - Righteous Brothers.


My choice is I Will Remeber You by Sarah Mclachlan

Recycle and decorate for Fall

Create beautiful luminarias to light the way to your door, or give as heartfelt, homemade gifts! These also look beautiful strung in a line from a porch overhang.
Take several large, clean cans that are all the same size.
Fill the cans halfway with water and place in the freezer until the water is just frozen (be careful - if you leave them in too long, the ice may expand the cans).
With a wax crayon, draw a pattern onto the can.
Using a hammer and a nail, punch holes along the pattern lines.
Remove the ice, insert a candle and voila! Beautiful luminarias to greet your guests.

Word Of The Day

PUERILE - childish, immature, silly, juvenile, adolescent.

Hero

If there is one thing upon this earth that mankind love and admire better than another, it is a brave man, -- it is the man who dares to look the devil in the face and tell him he is a devil.- -- James A. Garfield

Word Of The Day

PEDANT- someone who shows off learning, scholar, sage.

Aloe Allure

Aloe vera's claim to fame may be providing relief from burns, but that's certainly not all it's good for. Researchers at Texas A&M University in College Station found that the sugar that makes up aloe vera can speed the healing time of wounds by reducing inflammation, preventing the breakdown of growth factors that promote healing, and stimulating the cells that destroy dead or dying tissue. It also aids new blood vessel formation. Because wound healing can be a problem in the elderly, aloe vera can help. Use fresh gel from a plant on superficial wounds once a day.