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Hippity Hoppity Easter's On It's Way...

Hormones

"ESTROGEN ISSUES"
10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3 The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-".
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".
8 You're not as nice as you used to be and you used to be a witch
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

* I thought it was just my sparkling personality. Hmm.

Spring Has Sprung

It's the first day of Spring and all of America breaths a sigh of relief.
It was one long winter. I'm looking forward to Robin's in the yard, flowers blooming, trees leafing out, the sun shining and people out and about enjoying the weather.

5 Years in Iraq

Today marks the 5th year of the war in Iraq.

Pray that our troops will return home safe and sound very soon.

My son was on the USS Carl Vinson, an aircraft carrier while he was in the Navy.

Kiss Me I'm Irish

The Hours

A day dawns, quite like other days; in it, a single hour comes, quite like other hours; but in that day and in that hour the chance of a lifetime faces us.
- Maltbie Babcock

Baby Boom

Pregnancy Q&A

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A : Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

Spoiled

THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!!

If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears
with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were
when they were growing up; what with walking
twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill BOTH ways

yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,
there was no way in
hell I was going to lay
a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it
and how easy they've got it!
But now that... I'm o ver the ripe old age of
thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my
childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it but you kids today you
don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The
Internet. If we wanted to know something,
we had to go to the damn library and
look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!! There was no email!! We had to actually write
somebody a letter with a pen!
Then you had to walk all the way across the street and
put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to
steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the
beginning and @#*% it all up!
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you
were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either!
When the phone rang, you
had no idea who it was! It could be your school,
your mom, your boss, your
bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you
just didn't know!!! You had
to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video
games with high-resolution
3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games
like 'Space Invaders' and
'asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You
actually had to use your
imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or
screens, it was just one screen
forever!

And you could never win. The game just kept getting
harder and harder and
faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such
thing as stadium seating!
All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy
or some old broad with a hat
sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were
just screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that
was only like 15 channels
and there was no o n screen menu and no remote
control! You had to use a
little book called a TV Guide to find out what was
on! You were screwed when it
came to channel surfing! You had to get off
your ass and walk over to the TV to change the
channel and there was no
Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons
on Saturday Morning. Do you
hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK
for cartoons, you spoiled
little rat-bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat
something up we had to
use the stove or go build a frigging fire ..
imagine that! If we wanted
popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing
and shake it ove r the stove
forever like an idiot.

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids
today have got it too easy.
You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted
five minutes back in 1980!

Jaded

Never make someone a priority in your life when you're only an option in theirs.

Hero

Man's greatest actions are performed in minor struggles. Life, misfortune, isolation, abandonment and poverty are battlefields which have their heroes - obscure heroes who are at times greater than illustrious heroes.
- Victor Hugo

Think Spring & Green

The Arts

I'm lucky to live in a small town that has a great art community. There is a small college that cultivates creativity and it spills over into the general population.
Every month the town hosts the First Friday Art Walk, in which the dance studios, art galleries,restaurants, book stores and theaters open their doors and invite people in to enjoy the world of art.

We can experience art on various levels, as viewers or participants through our own personal expression. Art can be pleasing to the eye, such as a picturesque landscape or beautiful portraits, or it can be critical or provocative, such as the works of the avant-garde. Art can record history, memorialize a person or event, celebrate life, or evoke thoughts or feelings.

Exploring art helps us to understand our cultural and historical backgrounds as well as those of others. Surrounding ourselves with art that we truly enjoy can be very uplifting as well as an expression of who we are. On an even more personal level, art offers us the opportunity to imagine, communicate, and explore our own personalities and beliefs through our own creations.

How do you incorporate art into your own life? Are you drawn to certain periods of art or to particular artists? Or maybe you like to express yourself through painting, drawing, or sculpture. If you do make a point to appreciate art in your life, I congratulate you. And if you don't, I hope that my thoughts will encourage you to open yourself up to the wonders and benefits of artistic creation.

Alterations

The greatest discovery of my generation is that man can alter his life simply by altering his attitude of mind.
- William James