Thursday, May 31, 2007

BARF

A woman's fall in a puddle of vomit has resulted in a lawsuit against Wal-Mart. June Medema, slipped in the vomit at a Davenport Wal-Mart on June 13, 2005, according to the lawsuit, filed by Medema and her husband, James, in Scott County District Court earlier this month.

Medema claims that she was seriously injured in the fall.

The lawsuit alleges that Wal-Mart's negligence led to Medema's fall, but it does not specifically say how the store was negligent.

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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Buff

Pump You Up

Muscle Mania
Beware of boys who want to build muscles.

According to American Journal of College Health, researchers in Saskatchewan, Canada, studied 197 muscle builders. They found that boys who simply wanted to firm up were emotionally healthy. But those who wanted to look like a comic book super-hero usually suffered from depression and low self-esteem.

By contrast, by the way, girl muscle builders didn't show significant emotional problems.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

This Day In History

On May 29
1790 Rhode Island became the last of the original thirteen colonies to ratify the U.S. Constitution.
1848 Wisconsin became the 30th state in the union.
1910 An airplane raced a train from Albany, New York to New York City. The airplane pilot Glenn Curtiss won the $10,000 prize.
1911 The first running of the Indianapolis 500 took place.
1916 The official flag of the President of United States was adopted.
1922 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that organized baseball was a sport, not subject to antitrust laws.
1932 World War I veterans began arriving in Washington, D.C. to demand cash bonuses they were not scheduled to receive for another 13 years.
1953 Edmund Hillary and Sherpa Tenzing Norga became the first men to reach the top of Mount Everest.
1962 Buck (John) O’Neil became the first black coach in major-league baseball when he accepted a job with the Chicago Cubs.
1973 Tom Bradley was elected the first black mayor of Los Angeles.
1974 U.S. President Nixon agreed to turn over 1,200 pages of edited Watergate transcripts.
1978 In the U.S., postage stamps were raised from 13 cents to 15 cents.
1988 U.S. President Reagan began his first visit to the Soviet Union in Moscow.
1995 The last 3 bodies were recovered from the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City.
1999 Space shuttle Discovery completed the first docking with the International Space Station.
2001 In New York, four followers of Osama bin Laden were convicted of a global conspiracy to murder Americans. The crimes included the 1998 bombings of two U.S. embassies in Africa that killed 224 people.

Monday, May 28, 2007

It's a tough job, but someone's got to do it.

A Job in America


Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN
JAPAN) for 6 a.m. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he
shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG) He put on a dress shirt
(MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes
(MADE IN KOREA). After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet
(MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see
how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to

the radio (MADE IN INDIA) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) filled it
with GAS from Saudi Arabia and continued his search for a good paying
AMERICAN JOB At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day
checking his Computer (Made In Malaysia), Joe decided to relax for a
while. He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL) poured himself a glass of
wine (MADE IN FRANCE)and turned on his TV (MADE IN
INDONESIA), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in ..
AMERICA.


I have a few comments for Joe. First of all, it sounds like you are doing all right with your fancy car, electronic gadgets and snooty wine. Do you really want a factory job? I doubt it. How about we list all the things made in America you used or consumed through out your day. No one made you by these un-American products, so I don't think you should keep whinning. Join the real world of the rest of us "Joes"!

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Judgement

Old judges never die, they just slur their sentences.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Hog Wild


Meet Monster Pig. An 11-year-old boy in Alabama used a pistol to kill a wild hog his father says weighed a staggering 1,051 pounds and measured 9 feet 4, from the tip of its snout to the base of its tail. Think hams as big as car tires.

I smell BBQ!

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Thursday, May 24, 2007

Momma Mia!

A 60-year-old woman became a mother, twice over, when she delivered a pair of boys Tuesday. Frieda Birnbaum gave birth to "Baby A" at 12:44 p.m. and "Baby B" a minute later by Caesarean section at Hackensack University Medical Center. The twins each weighed 4 pounds, 11 ounces.

Hospital officials believe Birnbaum may be the oldest woman to give birth to twins in the United States.

Birnbaum said she wanted her younger son to have siblings closer to his age and wanted to remove some of the stigma attached to older women giving birth.

Coincidentally, Tuesday was the birthday of twins born one year ago to a 59-year-old woman - also a New Jersey woman. Lauren Cohen gave birth to Gregory and Giselle on May 22, 2006, at New York Presbyterian Hospital.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Icon With Iowa Roots




John Wayne, born Marion Robert Morrison, would have turned 100 on Saturday. He died at 72 of stomach cancer in June 1979 after a career that spanned more than 170 films. He didn't win an Academy Award until 1970 for his performance in "True Grit." (He was nominated twice earlier - for best actor in 1949's "Sands of Iwo Jima" and best picture for 1960's "The Alamo," which he directed and produced.)

To this day, he still ranks atop polls rating the most adored actors; a Harris Poll conducted just this year rated him as the third-most popular movie star behind Denzel Washington and Tom Hanks.

It's been not only 100 years since his birth, but nearly three decades since his death. Yet Wayne still remains one of the most recognizable faces in the world.

Turner Classic Movies has been paying tribute throughout the week by airing a 35-film festival of his movies. His birthplace, Winterset, Iowa, will hold a groundbreaking ceremony Saturday for a new John Wayne museum. "Hondo" (1953), recently restored in digital 3-D, will screen at the Cannes Film Festival.

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Tuesday, May 22, 2007

More Legal Humor

A lawyer asked a group of prospective jurors if any of them was related to the principals in the case. One spoke up. He said the opposing attorney was his brother-in-law. "Would that relationship prevent your being able to consider the evidence in an unbiased way?" the lawyer asked. The prospective juror shook his head. "No," he said. "I don't think any more of him than I do of you."

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Monday, May 21, 2007

You Don't Know Jack!

WHO IS JACK SCHITT?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her
previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the
Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the
Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

NOW when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Blood Types

Who identified three blood groups?

Answer: Karl Landsteiner identified three blood groups,
later named A, B, and O. The fourth--AB--was identified in 1902.


Do you know your blood type?

I'm an A+. :o)

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Armed Forces Day

Today is Armed Forces Day. Pay respect to our brave men and women who serve our country, so we don't have to. Their's is no easy job and we should applaud them for their sacrafice. Come home soon!

Applause

When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy.- Samuel Goldwyn

Friday, May 18, 2007

Shoot 'Em Up

The guy who planted bullets wanted to see a lot of little shoots.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

race for the hair challenged...

There is a new Olympic event for men with thinning hair.
It's called the Balderdash!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Veggie Tales





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Sunday, May 13, 2007

Happy Mothers Day

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Life

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is a beauty, admire it. Life is a dream, realize it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a duty, complete it. Life is a game, play it. Life is a promise, fulfill it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is a tragedy, confront it. Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is luck, make it. Life is life, fight for it!
- Mother Teresa

Friday, May 11, 2007

Only the strong survive...Motherhood

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

Six married men will be dropped on an island with
one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.
Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes. There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his
assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and
pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money. In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.
Each man must remember the birthdays of all their
friends and relatives, and send cards out on time.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's
appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and
inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they're about to leave for vacation). He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.
The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. There is only one TV between them, and a remote with dead batteries.

Each father will be required to know all of the
words to every stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoons. The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, which they will apply to themselves either while driving or making three lunches.

Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

Each man must adorn himself with jewelry, wear
uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed. The men must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their clothing.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties. They must try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-yr old boy finds it in the purse.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting. He will need to read a book and then pray with the children each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00. They must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes.

They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. and then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand and foot until they are better.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks,
and each father will be required to know all of the following information:
each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to,
"You're not the boss of me."

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.
If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years...eventually earning the right to be called Mother!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Forgiveness

You know that old saying, "Forgive and forget?" Well, I think we all know that sometimes that is easier said than done. But now there's more reason than ever to make an effort to clear any resentments or grudges that we may still harbor over someone else's past actions or old events.

It turns out that according to recent research, such emotions as resentment, bitterness, anger, and fear all have physical consequences, like increased blood pressure and hormonal changes. And when these emotions are not resolved, it can lead to a state of chronic stress, leaving the door open to other illnesses.

Forgiveness has actually more to do with freeing yourself from harmful energies that can affect your health and well-being than letting someone "off the hook" or approving of their past actions. As they say, "Do you want to be bitter or better?" And it's also important to forgive yourself, if there's anything you may be blaming yourself for.

One good place to start is to try this simple exercise. Sit down with a pen and paper and write down all the things that you consider you have done wrong. Read through the list and then say, "I did the best I could with what I knew at that time. I now forgive myself and set myself free." Then burn or shred the list. Now do the same for any other people who may have hurt you. Insert each name into the statement: "xxxxx did the best they could with what they knew at that time. I now forgive xxxxx and set myself free."

Something that you might find helpful is called
"Discourse on Loving Kindness" and is attributed to Buddha:

Let your love flow outward through the universe,
To its height, its depth, its broad extent,
A limitless love, without hatred or enmity.
Then as you stand or walk,
Sit or lie down,
As long as you are awake,
Strive for this with a one-pointed mind;
Your life will bring heaven to earth.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

A Bang Up Story

Heading: Stupid Iowa Kid

A man faces up to 25 years in prison if convicted of throwing a firecracker inside a Coralville mall. Travis Grout, 19, has been charged with first-degree arson, public intoxication and interference with official acts for an incident April 16 at Coral Ridge Mall.

According to police reports, a witness saw Grout light a 3-inch long firecracker and throw it down a hallway toward a restroom. As it exploded, it propelled two pieces of cement through the hall, reports state. Grout left the area with four friends.

Police said the area had "countless" people, but it was unclear whether anyone was injured.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Tit For Tat

A couple I know were discussing their wallpaper, which had just been hung. Dave was annoyed at Debby's indifference to what he felt was a poor job.

"The problem is that I'm a perfectionist and you're not," he finally said to her.

"Exactly!" she replied. "That's why you married me and I married you!"

Monday, May 07, 2007

Riddle Me This

What am I?
You grasp my handle and give me a push.
I rotate and roll, doing my job.
You put pressure on me,
and I cause division.
Then you enjoy the fruits of my labor,
while I lie, cast aside, feeling cheesy and red of face.








A pizza cutter!

Sunday, May 06, 2007

How observant are you?

Give this PLENTY of thought, and don't cheat!

See if you can figure out what these words have in common......

Banana
Dresser
Grammar
Potato
Revive
Assess
Uneven

Are you peeking or have you already given up? Give it another try....You'll kick yourself when you discover the answer. Go back and look at them again; think hard.

Did you figure it out? Yeah, me neither, though I did see the doubled sets of letters inside the words.

OK... Here you go¦ Hope you didn't cheat. This is cool.

Answer . . . . .

In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the same word.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Cinco De Mayo


Cinco de Mayo (5th of May) is a date of great importance for the Mexican and Chicano communities. It marks the victory of the Mexican Army over the French at the Battle of Puebla. Althought the Mexican army was eventually defeated, the "Batalla de Puebla" came to represent a symbol of Mexican unity and patriotism. With this victory, Mexico demonstrated to the world that Mexico and all of Latin America were willing to defend themselves of any foreign intervention. Especially those from imperialist states bent on world conquest.

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Thursday, May 03, 2007

Alphabet Soup

Military Radio Alphabet

Alpha
Bravo
Charlie
Delta
Echo
Foxtrot
Golf
Hotel
India
Juliet
Kilo
Lima
Mike
November
Oscar
Papa
Quebec
Romeo
Sierra
Tango
Uniform
Victor
Whiskey
X-ray
Yankee
Zulu

I wonder who came up with these words for the alphabet.
It's an odd mix that brings to mind a drunk traveler
and some buddies who liked to dance.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Wake Up Your Plants


Coffee for your Plants
After your morning coffee, remove the filter and grounds and set them aside to dry. When the grounds are thoroughly dried, scatter them around the garden as an organic plant food. Don’t use too much in one area because coffee grounds tend to raise the acidity of the soil. Use the filter to line the bottom of flowerpots to keep the soil from falling through the drainage holes.

My Grandma used to do this too and she had another trick of saving egg shells and crunching them up and adding them to the coffee grounds mix. I'm not sure what the shells did for the plants, but I do know she had a green thumb.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Dig It

Beginning gardeners work by trowel and error.