Global Warming Protest

Punny Biz

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from having too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, the nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your Count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

Legal Humor

Two lawyers went into the restaurant and ordered two
drinks. Then they got sandwiches out of their briefcases
and started to eat. The waiter said, "Hey, you can't eat
your own sandwiches in here!"
So the lawyers traded sandwiches.


* Free Advice *
If at first you don't suceed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Can I Get That To Go?

Nathan Turns 26 Today

Happy 26th Birthday
To My Son Nathan.
Love You!

What To Wear What To Drink

Would You Like To Have A Drink?

Walking

Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you
at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a
nursing home at $7000.00 per month.

My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he
was 60. Now he's 97 years old
and we don't know where he is.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by
people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking is so that I
could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain
figures out what I'm doing..

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400
bucks. Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach
covers them..

The advantage of exercising every day is so when you
die, they'll say,
'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start
with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise the last few
years,.......
just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older,because
there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

AND

Every time I start thinking too much about how I
look,
I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I
look just fine.

BUT...MOST IMPORTANTLY:
When we walk with God, we always reach the right
destination.

24 Years Ago

My baby girl was born January 3rd 1985.

Happy Birthday Natalie!

Your Mumbo loves you so much.

Happy New Year