Fun At Wally World

Mr. And Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that he goWith her to Wal*Mart. He gets bored with all the shopping.He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves toBrowse.

Here's a letter sent to her from the store.Dear Mrs. Fenton,Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quiteA commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior andMay ban both of you from our stores. We have documentedAll incidents on our video surveillance equipment.All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.

Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse wasShopping in Wal*Mart:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomlyPut them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in HousewaresTo go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floorLeading to the restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in anOfficial tone, 'Code 3' in housewares... And watchedWhat happened.
5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked toPut a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' signTo a carpeted area.
7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping departmentAnd told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'llBring pillows from the bedding department.
8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help himHim, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you peopleJust leave me alone?'
9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera;Used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,Asked the clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants.
11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciouslyLoudly hum ming the "Mission Impossible" theme
12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his"Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browseThrough, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over theLoud
speaker, he assumes the fetal position andScreams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"And last, but not least ....
15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the doorWaited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is NO toilet paper in here".