Raunchy Jokes

Doctor is spending the evening at home with his wife, the phone rings and it is his three other doctor friends asking him to come and play poker. The doctor says he will be right there. Goes to the closet and puts on his coat. His wife says "Are you going some where" Doctor "Yes a situation has come up" Wife, "Is it serious" Doctor " Yes three doctors are there already."

Two old people, a man and a woman, walk into a hospital. The doctor says to the old man, "I'll need a urine sample, a feces sample, and a blood sample." The old man says, "What?" So the doctor says it again. Once again the old man says, "what?" So the doctor yells it, "I NEED A URINE SAMPLE, A FECES SAMPLE, AND A BLOOD SAMPLE!" With that the old woman turns to the old man and says, "He needs a pair of your underwear!"

There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast. On his way in he kicked a cow, pig, and a chicken. So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal. "What's the deal?" he asks. His mom says " You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you." Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidentally kicked the cat. Then the boy says "Do you want me to tell him or should you?"