New State Mottos

ALABAMA ~

"Yes, we have electricity"



ALASKA ~

"We also take American money"



ARIZONA ~

"But It's a Dry Heat"



ARKANSAS ~

"Litterasy Ain't Everthing"



CALIFORNIA ~

"As Seen on TV"



COLORADO ~

"If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother"



CONNECTICUT ~

"Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character"



DELAWARE ~

"We Really Do Like the Chemicals in our Water"



FLORIDA ~

"Ask Us About Our Grandkids"



GEORGIA ~

"We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism"



HAWAII ~

"Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru"
(Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)



IDAHO ~

"Potatoes and Neo Nazi's ... What More
Could You Ask For?"



ILLINOIS ~

"Please Don't Pronounce the "S"



INDIANA ~

"2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free"



IOWA ~

"We Do Amazing Things With Corn"



KANSAS ~

"Where Science Don't Mean Shit"



KENTUCKY ~

"Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names"



LOUISIANA ~

"We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign"



MAINE ~

"We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster"



MARYLAND ~

"A Thinking Man's Delaware"



MASSACHUSETTS ~

"Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's
(For Most Tax Brackets)



MICHIGAN ~

"First Line of Defense From the Canadians"



MINNESOTA ~

"10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000 Mosquitoes"



MISSISSIPPI ~

"Come Feel Better About Your Own State"



MISSOURI ~

"Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work"



MONTANA ~

"Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and Very Little Else"



NEBRASKA ~

"Ask About Our State Motto Contest"



NEVADA ~

Two words - "Whores and Poker"



NEW HAMPSHIRE ~

"Go Away and Leave Us Alone"



NEW JERSEY ~

"You Want a Frickin' Motto? I Got Yer Frickin' Motto Right Here!"



NEW MEXICO ~

"Lizards Make Excellent Pets"



NEW YORK ~

"You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney..."



NORTH CAROLINA ~

"Tobacco is a Vegetable"



NORTH DAKOTA ~

"We Really are One of the 50 States!"



OHIO ~

"At Least We're Not Michigan"



OKLAHOMA ~

"Like the Play, only No Singing"



OREGON ~

"Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner"



PENNSYLVANIA ~

"Cook With Coal"



RHODE ISLAND ~

"We're Not REALLY An Island"



SOUTH CAROLINA ~

"Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender"



SOUTH DAKOTA ~

"Closer Than North Dakota"



TENNESSEE ~

"The Educashun State"



TEXAS ~

"Si' Hablo Ing'les"
(Yes, I speak English)



UTAH ~

"Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus"



VERMONT ~

"Yep"



VIRGINIA ~

"Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?"



WASHINGTON ~

"Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!"



WASHINGTON D.C. ~

"Got crack?"



WEST VIRGINIA ~

"One Big Happy Family - No, really!"



WISCONSIN ~

"Come Cut Our Cheese"



WYOMING ~

"Where men are men and sheep are scared"