You're Fired

These individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation:

"I would not allow this employee to breed."
"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap." "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
"Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."
"He has a knack for making strangers immediately."
"He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
"When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
"It's hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm to the egg."